Thoughts and Ponderings

I have been doing a lot of reflection lately. I am not sure why, maybe with the year end approaching or the change of season or pms, who knows. One interesting reflection I had was about the co-ed softball team season that just ended. I played softball in high school and co-ed in college. That was 18 years ago. Yeah, I was a little nervous starting out on this team. They say it is supposed to be relaxed and fun, but I could tell this team wanted to win. All my insecurities rushed to my brain, oh my god I am going to strike out in slow pitch (which I did in the first game, but that was the only time, the walk back to the bench was longer than any marathon!!) or oh shit they're going to throw the ball to me or oh my god, did he just tell me to slide!!! I sucked it up and made every game. I was definitely the only girly-woman on the team, well there was one other girly-woman, but I was way girlier. By girly-woman, I mean when I made a mistake, I said sorry and giggled nervously instead of spitting. So I often felt very intimated. BUT the thing was after the end of the season as I looked back, I felt totally different about the whole team experience. I started the season feeling like I really did not belong on the team, by the end I realized I was almost as good as any of those players and better than some!! It is amazing what our brains do to us.

Running can also be a mind-f***, as we all know. Right now I am not running my best and it sucks. I just have to figure out how to enjoy the actual motion of running and let go of the competetiveness for a while. There are so many other benefits of running; staying in shape, being able to eat more food, friendship, being outside, the list goes on and on.

I have found one chocolate item I will be able to resist. I ordered a Dunkin' Donuts coffee with a shot of chocolate flavor for the heck of it. Auggghhhh, it was a cross between gasoline and watered down chocolate syrup. It was pretty disgusting, did I still drink the whole thing, yes, of course. Another chocolate thing I baked this week also turned out to be kind of weird. I baked cookies with these new chips that are half chocolate/half caramel. They tasted okay, but I think I'll stick with my basic old fashioned chocolate chip cookie for my Christmas baskets.

I'll leave you with another positive of running; jokes that your running partners share while you are running up a gigantic hill in 19' frigid early morning weather. Keep in mind that my friend told this joke to me while I was the only female running that morning. I was running with three viril men that cold, cold morning. We were discussing stupid things we've done while running marathons that have effected our health and finishing time. The joke goes like this:

"God gave men two main organs with only enough blood to go to one at a time."