Marathon Envy

There are so many people in my life training for marathons right now. I feel sort of like I am in a funk about not running a marathon this Fall. Usually I am sooooo happy I am not running one, but I think I got bit by the bug running Boston this year. The Boston Marathon is such an awesome experience, it is beyond words. I am now considering really marathon training, you know actually follow a plan and bite the bullet and speed train so I can actual qualify to run Boston and not depend on getting my number from nice relatives that live in Boston. Oh well, we'll see, I'll be watching all the bloggers and my friends and live vicariously through them this year!

Mr Universe

Today the most adorable four year old told me that his father has the biggest muscles in the whole universe. I hope his dad wears a tank top to Open House :)

It's all in the hands

This is a deep entry, so if you are not in the mood, visit me later. I am sure I'll be back to my happy go-lucky self before I know it.

So here goes. Due to time constraints, I ran by myself on Saturday rather than hooking up with the willi athletic club members. Sometimes I prefer running long distances by myself, I guess I really am an introvert down deep inside. But another reason I enjoy running by myself for a couple of hours is I get to really process or deal with some of my life's issues or demons. And usually these demons are unknown to me until they just sorta come up while I am cruising along on my run. This happened on Sat. am and luckily it was raining so it was unclear to passersby that I was crying.

Here's the story: As some of might remember I have suffered some great losses in my young life. My first love, Jeff, died of brain cancer when he was 32. That was six years ago now. We were still close friends at the time of his death even though we hadn't been together for ten years and both were married to other people. Jeff was an outdoor educator and was very physically active and strong. I mean strong. His hands showed his hard work. They were strong, beat-up, sexy, working-person hands. As a matter of fact, when we were in high school, he suffered an accident while working at a wood mill and almost lost two fingers on his left hand, but luckily they were saved but they were forever swollen and scar-ridden after that.

When he was diagnosed with cancer, he was unable to continue to work. I knew he was sick, but it wasn't until one day while I was bringing him to a doctor's appointment that I really understood how sick he was. Denial is such a strong defense mechanism to keep us safe from the harsh reality of truth. He had been battling cancer for about a year at the time of this appointment and he was sitting next to me in the car. As were we driving along, I stole a look at his hands and I can still remember how stunned I was when I saw his hands. Jeff's hands had completely transformed. They were still big, but they were clean and white and his nails were like regular not all beat up. I remember thinking that even his hands had lost weight. I'll never forget that feeling of doom set over me when I let myself realize how sick he was.

While I was running on Saturday, I was able to remember this lesson and have a little prayer for Jeff and all the people he touched. It is amazing what thoughts creep out while your body is so tired. So while I finished my ten miler in the rain, I let out a good cry missing one of my best friends.

Yeah, it's HUMP day!

Yes today is Wednesday ;) I woke up, ran three effortless, pain-free miles, lifted weights, and now I am eating whole grain waffles with blueberries while I update my beloved blog! I was feeling discouraged after Sat. group run because I had such a hard time staying with the group. I think when we run on trails I don't know how far back I am and then of course I don't really care, but when I could see how far back I was on the road, it kinda sucked. My partner that is usually back there with me is away for two weeks, so I have to brave another week without him. Running chick says she will circle back and get me, so that will definitely help! Thanks, Dianna, you know you've reached a certain runner's status when you are the one that circles back for people, you really rock, super speedy running chick!!

BUT since Saturday, my runs have felt AWESOME. I love it that when that happens. It's just like everything is well rested, well oiled and ready to run. I hope the feeling continues for a while.

Today is also a happy day for me, because I am getting my haircut. I LOVE getting my haircut. Well actually I love any activity that is about nurturing myself. That is one good reason to have some disposable income, massages, facials, pedicures, shopping - they are all good! I may have to cut back on some though, so I can get a road bike for my triathlon. I keep telling my husband, no jewelry for xmas, I want a bike. But I don't think he will be able to control himself, he has thing about having to get me jewelry. I don't know, I guess I could have bigger problems!!

Happy Surprises

Today was our club's group run. We started at the ungodly hour of 5:15, heading off planning a variety of distances depending on what marathon you were doing or not doing in my case. We ran a new route for me and I had no idea what the roads were like to run on and just chugged it out the best I could, which was not very fast, but good enough. I thought I was doing about seven or eight miles and then my watch read 7:15 and I was like whoa, I know I am going slower than all those other people running way ahead of me, but eight miles in two hours is a little extreme. But I was happily surprised when I measured it on mapmyrun.com and it read 11.65 miles, WHOOPIE FOR ME! It was like ordering a small sundae and the waiter bringing you a large one! I was psyched.

Happy International Chocolate Day

Today one of the nicest moms in my class packed a bag of Dove Chocolate Truffles for us to celebrate International Chocolate Day and she doesn't even know about my chocolate love affair! In the interest of my new good health regime, I only ate one and plan on sharing them and making the bag last longer than ten minutes. I have been eating very reasonably, but I just HAD to celebrate Int'l Chocolate Day with my kids at home, so we went out for ice cream after I got home from yoga. I only got a small cone. Well I did eat the leftover m&ms from my little son's sundae, I am sorry but those little candies were just calling my name!

Tomorrow I plan on running about two miles and then swimming a 1/2 mile at the school pool. Can't wait!

A New Blog Name?

I have been feeling like a fraud lately. My new blog name should be "Wants to run so she can eat chocolate, but she can't because her ass is getting too big even though she runs five days/week" I think that would be too long probably. I have started eating more reasonably lately, this always happens when school starts and I don't have the time to just eat whatever I want whenever I want. I stopped taking chocolate breaks everyday at work a couple of years ago, because the sugar dives would make me too tired to run around after all those wild preschoolers. So even though I wish the running and swimming I am doing would allow me to eat whatever amount of chocolate I want, I sadly no longer can. I eat small amounts of chocolate during the week and that works out for me, because I can't cut it out of my life completely. That would be like going blind or something!

Coed softball starts today, but I feel like an afterthought because the woman that runs the team just called me this morning to tell me the game time. I am not going to go today because the start is 10:15 and I have to run and go food shopping. Also when I never heard from last year's coach, I asked another friend if I could play on her team, yikes, what do I do now? On both teams I would be the suckiest player, but at least on the team from last year, they know what their getting and I think the sort of want me to play?! Running is so much less complicated! Just go out there and run, the only person you fail is yourself when you strike out or are afraid to slide or afraid of the 200lb guy sliding into home that your team expects you to try to tag!

Swimming - a new love

I have officially begun my quest to become a triathlete. I got the running thing down, I think. I am not that fast, but fast enough for me. The public preschool program I work for is housed in our town's old high school and low and behold there is a pool right at my school. I have started swimming at 5:30am on Thursday mornings, the janitor lets me in and makes sure I am not drowning. My oldest son also plans on joining me as well as another friend. My only problem is that I am not the best swimmer. I am struggling with the whole breathing routine, but I am excited about getting better. I absolutely LOVE the water and am glad I have the guts to pursue this goal.

My school year has begun and I am going to be running my big ass off this year. I have two little ones with some pretty significant delays and they eat everything from playdough to tape and if you piss them off you should expect them to try to eat you! My plan is to wear long sleeve shirts to rest of the school year, pray for an early Fall!

New Haven Road Race 2006

New Haven Road Race rocks! It was a beautiful early Fall day with about mid-70s breezy weather conditions. My kids, sister and I left the house at 6:00am to arrive in New Haven at 7:30. We arrived with plenty of time to pick up my t-shirt, number, chip and still run it to the car and get back to go to the bathroom twice. After the potty breaks, I sent my sister and kids off to play on the inflatiable bouncy things while I met up with some of my favorite bloggers. I got to see what Chocolate Jon looks like and had nice conversations with Jank, Michelle, Dianna, April Anne and David. (Check out www.runningchick.blogspot .com for the links Sorry!) It was very cool to meet my cyber running enthusiasts and recommend RBF meet ups for any of you fellow bloggers.

The race itself was very satisfying, as I said I love running the New Haven Road Race. There is wonderful support, about 12 great bands, and a cool city route. It is always fun to meet new people on the course as well. Around mile eight, I passed a band playing Hendrix's "Purple Haze" and got to talking to some men about the era that Hendrix played. They were pretty amused when I told them I was born in that era and had a hippies for parents. They wondered how effective hippies were as parents. Not so much, I told them.

Then at around mile nine, you run through a barrio, a Puerto Rican neighborhood. The smells and yells were awesome and I needed them because I was starting to poop out at that point. Mile ten was a hill, but the rest of the race was downhill or flat and that was a good thing. During mile twelve, I was passed by Jank and April Anne. They were very sweet while they passed my dragging ass and Jank even took a picture!!

After the race, I was unable to meet up with my blogging family, because I was watching my human family jump in those jumpy things. I have to admit the jumpy things were awesome. I even went on one of the slides, but it was a bad idea because I got an atomic wedgie from the darn thing.

My time was much better than my times in 2001 or 2002, but I was still the last person in our running group to come in. My running group is getting pretty darn fast I tell ya. I am feeling like I better do some speedwork to be able to fit in!

Follower or Leader??

Have you ever wondered if you are a follower or a leader. I went on a trail run with my buddies yesterday morning and I had no freakin' idea where the hell I was and I could care less. I loved just going with the flow trusting that our leader knew where he was going. I have no problem in a leadership role either though. Once a month I am the host of the run and I really get excited thinking about where I am going to take me friends. I think for me the role as follower is comfortable for me only when the leader is someone I can trust. And in that trusting situation, I really love not having to worry or caretake. It is so relaxing to just let someone else do the work!

Ready for New Haven, now the big decision of what to wear. Almost as anxiety producing as a first date! Luckily I don't have as many clothes to choose from!

One Two Punch and I am OUT!

PUNCH ONE This week on our way to dinner at Friendly's Restaurant, a family dining place that specializes in ice cream, I stupidly asked my boys if my butt was the same size as this runner we saw. My oldest son said something like this, "Mom, that ass is big and beautiful, yours is big and droopy". OUCH! I know I was extremely dumb and a little inappropriate even asking my kids to compare my body with another woman (she looked like about college age, I could be her mother for pete's sake), but still the truth hurts. Your kids are always guaranteed to tell you the truth, maybe that's why I asked them. Believe me I won't be asking anytime soon. I settled for an ice cream cone of hunka chunka peanut butter fudge instead the regular hot fudge sundae. sigh

PUNCH TWO Same night My husband "plays" horseshoes in a league on Wed. nights, hence why I took the kids out because he is not around to complain that we spend too much money on eating out :0 Anyway, he comes tiptoeing quietly in around ten o'clock, I am already fast asleep but not too deeply because he kisses me goodnight and I wake up. Well my husband is a talker and when he doesn't see me enough, he goes through talker withdrawal. So he begins his diarrhea of the mouth and is just going on and on, but about nice stuff and how happy he is to be married to me and blahblah. Usually that means one of his horseshoe buddies was bitching about their wives and suddenly I am looking good until it's his week to bitch about me!! But somehow we get talking about this woman that his brother is dating. This woman has the same "curvy" shape that I have, but is about seven inches shorter so her curves look a little curvier. His brother was telling Eric that he just doesn't want to "settle" for someone that's not HOT. Ouch again. I could go on about how my brother-in-law should not be so pickey because he is short, skinny and has more hair on his back than his head, but that would be mean of me, right ;) !!!